If I could speak to Alicia Keys..

Good Morning Love Bugs.. It’s SATURDAY!!!! YAY…

So, this morning.. I may be a little emotional because we have a Funeral and a Wedding to attend so forgive me if this happens to get sappy. But I opened my Facebook today to see where Alicia Keys was interviews by Tamron Hall ( who I love) on the TODAY SHOW yesterday. Ok, so let me just say that I have been ” HERE” for KEYS ( that’s my BFF in my head don’t judge me) since Fallin’… When she stepped on the scene, yes she was the ” light-skinned long hair ” that we typically see.. but hers was different . It was like the NEW AGE of BEAUTY..  My dad being a DJ , of course, I got her cd and went BA- NANAS .. but it wasn’t for Fallin’ or any of the other songs it was for that INTRO… Piano & I.

when she says ” Always got to try. No matter how long that shit take.. whatever tried to stop you from dreaming whatever tries to stop you from living .. FLIP IT “… I cried.. Failure for me… unfortunately not only an option but a way of Life. That’s another story for another day but just know.  You life can change and will if you want it to. Change Your Stars.

Anyway… So this morning when I opened my Facebook I saw this image. Chile… WATER FALLS.. Ok.. WATERFALLS..

I do not own this photo.

So, everyone was on Alicia for stepping out on tv without makeup. I was in tears… because that was the MOST INCREDIBLE THING I HAD EVER SEEN… How much confidence can someone have to let the world, that is so IMAGE-DRIVEN,  see them without  over arched brows and contour. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love a good beat too. But, you always have these people in your ear saying..” when you make an appearance.. you have to LOOK like this or that.” and you end up not looking like YOU at all. We, and I say WE, allow the world to dictate what is beautiful to us. But not Keys! Keys walking out on that MTV stage and said, ” You will accept me for who “I” am or keep it moving. Either way, I’m GOOD. ”

What a magnificent word to our young girls.. What a Message to the Grown Girls… ( because yes that little girl playing in her mother’s make up still lives in us all.) * yep.. I’m a big ol ball of mush right now.. SO WHAT*

But then I watched Tamron and the other host start to remove their makeup.. and it was Dope..  And then my eyes were drawn back to Tamron. She was tearful. Now, I know people can ACT when they are on tv… but that broke me. What I saw, was a bit of fear, a bit of worry but Strength then ACCEPTANCE of TAMRON from TAMRON. I swear I sat up in my bed and played that over and over and over.. that one moment.. because it was a BREAK THROUGH… That was a POWER moment. Watch Here.

Thinking about this anniversary show for Full Figured Fierce.. it’s not about the LIKES.. it’s not about the SHOW… and the models and lighting and music… it’s about someone “getting it.”… You have to learn to be your own kind of EVERYTHING… beautiful, class.. you own kind of Kick ASS what ever it is you are. Yes, we are EXPECTED to put on our WAR PAINT to “Blend IN”… but it’s really OK to NOT.. BLEND! #WEDECLAREWAR is a war cry. We are Learning to LOVE US.. flaws and all.. Learning to be OK with the fact that Others may not accept “our” BEAUTIFUL.. and that’s QUITE ALRIGHT!  All I keep thinking is “RAGE.. Rage against the dying of the light..” We have to keep fighting for “US” .. Boldly..

So, I said all that to say.. If I could speak to Alicia Keys.. I would be Speechless..  Because she gets it. and not many do. But since she’s not in front of me.. and I’m typing this.. I can say,

Keys…. ( I told ya’ll she is my BFF in my head) ..

Dearest Keys… Thank you for giving me the strength to Love the HELL outta ME.. I flipped that which stopped me from dreaming.. and now I’m trying to help others heal.. and maybe make a dream or two happen for others.

Have a BEAUTIFUL WEEKEND everyone…

Depression has been a battle for me for almost 30 years. It’s time to heal. #IDECLAREWAR #IAMFULLFIGUREDFIERCE

con·form·i·ty kənˈfôrmədē/ noun noun: conformity 1.compliance with standards, rules, or laws. 2.behavior in accordance with socially accepted conventions or standards. See it’s the #2 part I can’t do, I tried it doesn’t work for me.

I won’t follow the CROWD.

I declare war against the “SHOULDN’Ts”! She shouldn’t have taken that pic, she shouldn’t have worn that outfit, she shouldn’t have posted that status… All because society can’t handle an everyday woman, embracing herself and showing how happy and comfortable she is in her skin!

#BEYOU

As a black , plus, petite model I have had to come to terms with the fact that I NEED to love myself. I HAVE to love myself! Too many of us walk around giving our love away to those who need it (and some who don’t deserve it) but completely forget that it starts within. You’ll never find what you’re really looking for if you keep over looking yourself. Treat yourself, don’t cheat yourself.

I declare war on FEAR. It’s one of my biggest and toughest demons to conquer. I use to even be afraid of admitting that I was afraid. I had fear of what others would say, what they would think. I was fearful of success, fearful of failure, fearful of not belonging, fearful that I would never measure up. I had fear of not belonging, and lastly fear that I would not matter. I realize that wading in fear kept me from living and loving. It handicapped my present and held my future hostage.